On my wish list for the perfect man was ‘3. A man who writes’. The word is ‘was’, but that’s not because my little wish is no longer there but because I got a realization that I will share with you but before that I will share why I had this particular obsession as an essential.
Most relationship experts will tell you that everyone has their own love language. One of my love languages is language itself. I like a man who can express himself in words, I love being told nice and beautiful things that have been carefully woven into a perfect sentence tapestry. Then, I love when those words are put down in ink and more so if the writer knows a number of languages and randomly uses any that seems fit. I always convince myself that the writer must have taken time to think over the words and relate them to me. Like everyone else, when I develop an affection towards someone, I talk about them every so often but more to that I write about them. They become my undercover agents in stories, the heroes of the day in my fictional narratives and the persona is my nice poems.
So, I have time and again told myself that a man who writes is the epitome of romantic. A man who writes will not forget what you wore the first time you met because that man must have written it down. He will take you on a roller coaster of emotions with every paragraph of art he writes. A man who writes will not have to look for quotes from Google to send to you because you see, a man who writes is very witty. He will not have to tell you the same old boring wedding vows everyone says because he will take time to forecast a future with you and carefully paint it together with your wedding vows. A man who writes, will remind you of Solomonic wisdom, because even he was a man who wrote. He will make you smile on sad days when he posts a poem for you on his timeline. A man who writes will carefully intertwine every life event into his stories. He will not forget your birthday or your anniversary because he will write something about them every year. A man who writes will make you want to listen to him because in times when he cant write, he will clearly express himself verbatim. Lastly, a man who writes will form a perfect partner; he will co-author books with you and ultimately teach your children how to write.
Now, this is what I realized. A man who writes may or may not do all of the above and a better man would be a man who reads; a man who reads the Word of God. This man will amaze you with his wisdom. He will wash and cleanse you with Scriptures and his deeds will remind you of a Job 31 man. His boldness will remind you of Daniel, because you see he will not be ashamed to fore go the ‘better’ things of this life. He might not know how to hold his fork and knife, his favourite meal could be chapati madondo from the Mama Jimmy’s kibanda but this man will have a quality many lack, he will be teachable. His humility will remind you of Christ who did not consider equality with God as something to be grasped. He will listen to you even when what you say barely makes sense then he will correct you with so much love that you will be amazed at his tact. He will speak positive things into your life, he will give you the promise of a happy life and ultimately, he will walk with you into it. Unlike what most people say, that such Christian men are boring, this man in fact is most romantic. His description of love will be a man hang on a cross for the sins of other men. His acts of love will imitate 1 Corinthians 13.
I have come to learn that a man who reads has the predisposition to do all things. A man who reads, will co-author a book with you because even that too, he can learn and when he writes, he will write well.