Monday, July 21, 2014


I wrote this a while back and its refreshing to read through it once more. The thing about an old piece that makes it unique, is its ability to bear its own voice and communicate not only to a larger audience but even to the author. Here we go..

When you are no longer dating the wrong man, you want to start courting the right one. You want to feel the comfort of what it actually means to be in a God-ordained relationship. This is where most of us fail. We are too cautious about getting into a relationship yet we are too available to let any ’right man’ in for a test drive that is undefined. We text all night, go for lunches, spend time with that one young man; day dream about you and him and cling on to the hope that he will actually ask you out sometime soon. You talk to your girlfriends about him and it seems like every situation has an example that involves him. So you wait for the right time to make it official because as a virtuous church woman, you would definitely never make the first move; its unheard of, uncalled for. So you wait, and wait and wait like watchmen wait for the morning,......and wait just a little bit more. Everyone is talking about how good you two look together, that you guys are actually dating and are meant for each other: you do not disapprove it, you hope to approve it sometime soon; after he asks you out. So you smile when the topic comes up and  out rightly dismiss all young men who ask you out.
I don’t know what goes on in the man’s mind. I’d love to though. Is it that he enjoys the whole process of having the prey at his grip? To watch her get vulnerable, trust him, feel safe around him? Or is it that he wants some time to confirm.  If she really is the one? If the latter, wouldn’t it have been easier to confirm before you started dropping all those signs: Paying for all the lunches (now that both of you don’t want to call them dates), buying her chocolates and stuffed animals, dropping lines of sweet nothings and hints about a future together.
I believe in men of standing. Men who know what they want, what they need and claim it without doubting or hesitating. Like Adam most men want to rest then wake up to find her.  Once a man is startled from his sleep, and finds a woman lying at his feet like Boaz found Ruth, doesn’t he claim and become her kinsman redeemer?
Emotional entanglements are a tough place to be in. When situationships don’t end up being relationships, hearts are broken, people are hurt. The hope and little faith and that someone was clinging on to is completely destroyed. Do not start something you won’t bring to completion. It could have been someone who looked up to you, someone who believed in the God you served because you seemed so true.
Ask for clarification if the emotional entanglement is quite clear. Good men are visionary; they do not want to waste their time on something that is not worth it. Ask him to define where he wants it to head. Be bold like Esther, who, having not been summoned by the King, went to him in his inner courts despite the existing possibility of being put to death. Like Esther was ready to protect her people, be bold to protect your soul.
Be cautious of your actions and words. Women love with their mind, its what they listen to and are done for that counts. Men love with their eyes; it’s what they see that pleases.


  1. Wonderful post! I love it!! God bless you much.
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  2. 'Do not start something you won’t bring to completion.'

    Nice read,again

    1. I'm really hooked to your blog... Seems like answers to all my questions...
      Situationships are a definite no!no! And yes, I'd also like know what goes on in the gentleman's mind..hihi

    2. Thanks for the wonderful comment Laura. For His glory