I like what Joshua Harris says in his book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, “True purity is a direction, a persistent, determined pursuit of righteousness. This direction starts in the heart, and we express it in a lifestyle that flees opportunities for compromise.”
I am currently attending these sessions called Romance 101, where our facilitators, Johnnie and Maggie guide us through the biblical teachings and principles on relationships. Season one was a demystification on why not to date but court instead and now we are in the second season: ‘Now that you are courting.’
The thing about romance that we all assume, is that it is a full package. It is not a gradual journey where we attain a final prize. Holding hands is as intimate as a full length hug, as sacred as a kiss and as erotic as sexual intercourse. A few weeks ago, during one of the sessions, we discussed on how the hug has gradually evolved from locking of shoulders, to touching of cheeks and today, coming together of chests. I know many of us might dismiss this as radical probably say that I am making of a mountain out of a molehill. However, ladies, if you know any honest gentlemen, ask them how it feels to share a full length hug. I have discussed this with a number of my male friends and all of them have confessed to experience this ‘good’ feeling which ultimately compromises their thoughts and purity.
So you know that fornication is sin, you have been taught that kissing outside of marriage is equivalent to fornication and here I am talking about hugs? Love is not expressed in all these. Love is expressed in self control, patience and words left unsaid. What God depicts as love is His own son, naked and bloodied on a cross.
In a world where purity has little or no regard, seek to remain pure and follow that path of purity. Sexual sin, unlike other forms of sin, is not resisted, it is fleed from- Proverbs 6:27-29.
Opt for the side hug, it is more comfortable and non-compromising. Immerse yourself in the knowledge of God by reading His word. Restore back that which was sacred to its sacred position. If you are relating remember that God takes relationships seriously. He chose Mary, a girl who was betrothed and not just a mere single virgin girl. Joseph’s and Mary’s relationship was acknowledged not only on earth but also in heaven. Choose to guard the purity of your relationship; A physical relationship does not equal love.
Stop asking how far is too far. Don’t just be a virgin, be a pure virgin. Honeymoon was designed for virgins. In Homemade, Dr. B. Wilke says, “When we court we start giving gifts, like flowers or candy. When a couple becomes engaged, they give special things- a diamond and other personal things. The most personal thing that I can ever give is myself. I have nothing more precious to give. When I marry, I want to give my husband the best that I have- my whole self, as completely as I can.”